Finally started dreaming again...I haven't had any (or at least remembered any) since I got here. I didn't realize how much I missed having them until I had a few. Nelle & Nick, if you're reading this, I had one about you. I don't remember what happened, but it was a good dream. I'm excited for next semester.
This is bad, because it's only been 3 1/2 weeks, but I'm starting to feel ready to go home. I'm not homesick, and I don't mind being here, but I would be fine heading back in the next week. I don't know where that feeling came from, but it's definitely here. Hopefully it won't persist. I think it's a comfort thing. I am comfortable here, but things aren't convenient. I don't mean pre-packaged, everything perfect convenient, but more just that I know what's going on. I miss the ease of being at home or at school. Knowing how to get places, where I can get a good price on whatever, what is the best reading place, all that sort of stuff. Everything here is still new, and I keep finding different things. It's really cool, and I was enjoying that adventure for the first few weeks, but it's starting to exhaust me. There is no quiet. I don't mean in terms of sound, but in terms of a mental state. I can't go sit in a park, and there are no trees for me to read in. There are times when I find that state of serenity, but it's not as calm or as satisfying as when I get it at home. I always come out of it wanting more.
I think that's part of why I have recently been tired all the time. Every few hours I feel like I need to take a nap. And not a twenty minute nap--an hour or so nap. I sleep from 10:00 to 7:00 every night and wake up not feeling at all rested. Probably part of that is from dehydration or not getting enough exercise and stuff like that, but I think it also comes from not having the kind of mental relaxation that I am used to. I'm not stressed out all the time, but there is no ease. Perhaps it will go away, but I feel like that's just what life is like here. I guess I'll find out.
At some point I will write an entry that is actually about India. You know, the cows, the traffic, the window shopping--the things that I could only write because I am here. But not today. Eventually, just not today.
I hope things are well with everyone...please drop me a line sometime or send me a letter. I miss you all!
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3 comments:
My darling Anna! I'm so happy to hear that you are safe and you are enjoying your adventures in India. I am excited to read more about India itself and I miss you terribly. Stay safe and I will talk to you soon!
Lots of Love
Brit
I'm happy to be able to leave you comments now! :) I enjoy reading about your trip. Your most recent posts caused me to reflect on my 2 study abroad experiences and I thought I'd share my musings.
Re: STARING - when I went to Oman 2 years ago, I was shocked by how men stared at us. Guys would literally hang out of moving cars to get a good look. I think we stood out even more because we weren't wearing the hijab like the good muslim girls...even though we were very careful not to show any skin. However, after a week or two I stopped noticing it. They didn't stop staring, but it didn't get to me as much. I think it'll just become "normal" after awhile and you adapt to it.
Finally, re: being ready to go home. I know it's cheesy, but before I left for France we had this big seminar on the stages of culture shock and how it's really not a SHOCK! but more of a gradual thing. At first, for a month or so, everything seems new and a little overwhelming but exciting. Then, you start to get in a groove and feel at home. That's when you realize just how different little things are, and for me it was how inefficient things were. I was frustrated not to find the products I wanted in a store, to get the degree of service I wanted, etc. And I was in Paris, so I imagine that India is much higher on the things to frustrate list. The good news is that this isn't the end of the spectrum, so it should fade and you'll settle into a happy little place. At least in my *expert* opinion :)
I should have just sent you an email, since this is the world's longest blog comment. Glad to know you're safe; I was wondering once I heard the news.
Enjoy this week, my globetrotting cousin!
I would love to mail you things but Russian mail is VERY slow - i have a good feeling that is would also get lost along the way. BUT I am reading and was very pleased to log on after my time away and read all of your post last night in one sitting! I EVEN READ BITS ALLOWED TO FRIENDS! haha
I hope everything keeps going well and the familiarity will come day by day. I feel really trapped in my university bubble not experiencing much at all - maybe that will change? Homestay sound great and encouraged me for mine to start in about a month.
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