Thank you.

just a quick message:

Yesterday I arrived in Delhi safely in the morning, found a hotel, and had a lovely day reuniting with people.

Today we found out that at 10 PM last night there was a full-scale terrorist attack on Mumbai, which is still occurring. There are a number of hostages being held at several hotels that are under siege, there was open fire at a railway station, one apartment building was raided, and a gas station blown up. Last I heard. Over a hundred people have been killed, including India's three best police officers, who were the head of the anti-terrorist force. There has been open fire and negotiations since 10 PM last night. It's 9/11, India-style. It's also terrifying.

That being said, we are all safe and OK here in Delhi. Not everyone is back from their ISP, but no one was near Mumbai and everyone is fine. They are moving all of us who are here into the Ashram early, which is good and bad. I don't really mind, although I kind of liked my hotel. Those of us who are back had a decent (though by no means perfect) thanksgiving lunch at the program center. They couldn't get a hold of a turkey, but we had really yummy mashed potatoes, apple cider, and cranberry sauce, plus a random paneer tikka. It was nice, and while I wish I could be at home celebrating the holiday, under the circumstances it was good. We all have a lot to be thankful for, and the fact that a lot of people are still being held hostage at gun point puts a big damper on things, but it also made us enjoy our safety and time together a lot. It's a very sad time, that hopefully will not get too much worse.

I wish there was a way to convey what a big deal it is, since we've already had these few small bombings. It's just...it is India's 9/11. It is a very accurate comparason, at least at this point. I guess the fact that the smaller bombings barely made news, while most people in the US and Europe heard about this before I did means something. I can't tell you how much it means that I have gotten messages from all over the US, England, Italy, and several other countries all showing their concern. I really appreciate it, and I love you all so much. I hope that those of you who celebrate it have a good Thanksgiving, because, as we are reminded again and again, we have an awful lot to be thankful for.

Love.

"Hey, you look like a cool, refreshing glass of water...and I'm the thirstiest man in this town,"

Yes, somebody actually said that to me. I don't know what response they were hoping for, but I just laughed. After I got back to my room.

Sad news. I read a headline today about how five girls have been murdered in the last month by male members of their families, because they were going off to meet their 'unsuitable' boy friends. They are called 'honor killings', because the girls were going to stain their family's names by visiting with these unapproved boys. It's nice to know family means so much in this country.

I love my rickshaw wallah. Yesterday I told him it was my last day, and said goodbye. Today, as I was walking to the internet place, he pulled up next to me and told me to get in. I said I was just going a few blocks, I didn't need a ride. He said, smiling, 'no money, no money, just get in'. So I did, and he gave me a free ride to the internet place. So sweet. It's really nice when you meet the good people here. I'll miss him.

This afternoon I am heading over to the studio to say some last goodbyes and pick up my batiks. Very sad. The I'll go to my regular internet place, take a picture, kill some time, and say goodbye. Then I'll go to the bakery, and get some almond pie for the road! Then I'll go to Anna Restaurant, get an early dinner, take some pictures, and say goodbye. Then back to the hotel, finish packing (soooooo much stuff!) pay my bills, take some pictures, and say goodbye. Then it's off to the trainstation, for my oh so very long sleeper train ride, and I'm back in Delhi! Woo woo!

A few nights ago I went to the movie, Octopussy, and the restaurant. Oh James Bond, you are a silly man. It was a fun way to spend the evening though, and I had the most magnificent honey lassi ever.

So many weddings. So many. I saw one go by that had six grooms in one procession. Another time I saw three diferent ones in a row. It is definitely the season.

More once I reach Delhi.

GOODBYE UDAIPUR, I'LL MISS YOU!

Who's a happy girl? Anna's a happy girl!

Want to see why?




THAT'S WHY!!!!!
There she is Ladies & Gents, Ophelia. 2 1/2 weeks o' batik work has paid off, in my mind. Unfortunately, this doesn't show the vibrancy of the colors very well, but it gives a nice idea. Plus, after we boiled her, I got to play with play-dough---how could life get better??!! For after I get back, and for those who are interested, I have pictures from every step of the process. Each time we waxed & dyed her...so if you're interested in seeing how it got to here, just ask.

I got my ticket for Delhi today. the 25th, leaving at 6:30 pm. sleeper train. Should be a little easier than my ride there, except for needing to keep my bags real close and not falling too soundly asleep.

Interesting observation: People in India yell. A lot. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. Everyday my batik family yells at each other constantly, in very elevated Hindi. I have no idea what they are talking about, but it sounds like they are about to kill each other. The other day I was sitting while there was a particularly heated, violent sounding conversation going on, and I was not looking up, pretending I was deaf or not in the room, since it was obviously supposed to be private. At one point I glanced up, and Rashida-ji and the woman she was talking to were both smiling away! The use of tone in the voice is so different here...to just hear the conversation you would swear it was an arguement, but if you could only see it it was obviously just two friends chatting. so weird. Confusing too.

All for now. Tomorrow's my day off, so I'll probably shoot off another post.

Oh yeah, the last two days I've had to stand in the street for 15 minutes on my walk home so wedding processions could go by. craziness.

Dear Indian Boy,
Just so you know, I do not find it cute, cool, intimidating, or in any way sexy when you look at me and say seductively, "Good morning Baby,". You look stupid. It's 8:30 PM, and dark out. Just so you know.

I have been feeling really good lately. Still not good about going out and doing fun things on my own, but starting to feel a little more like I could belong here. I have a regular rickshaw driver in the mornings, who does not over charge me or ask inappropriate question on our drive. He always pulls up in front of the other drivers when I come out of the hotel. I think he'll be a regular.
I also have a really nice cyber cafe, where they are nice and don't bother me, and also recognize me.
I've only been there twice now, but I think Anna Restaurant is going to be a usual dinner stop for me. It's right on the way home, and is too cheap and the food is too good to pass up. The people who run it are also really nice, already recognize me and say hi when I walk by on the way to the studio, and don't mind if I stay a little after I finish eating to read or write or draw. The boys are also really curious about America, but not in a creepy way.
So I have a nice little set up here. It's only for another week, but it feels good to not have to try and find a new place to eat every night (or just not eat), and I know I can spend a good amount of time in the internet place & not feel like a loser. It's also reeeeeeeally really nice not to have to argue about a rickshaw price every morning.

We had our first rain since September this morning. While it was a nice, light drizzle, it succeeded in making the rest of the day very humid, so even though the sun isn't out, it's kind of unpleasant. It was also the first somewhat chilly morning, although I'm sure all of you at home would kick me for saying that. Everybody here at the hotel and the studio keep telling me to bundle up since it's so cold and they don't want me to get sick. I try to explain to them that to me it just feels like a nice, cool autumn morning, but they don't really get it.

There were two big cockroaches in my bathroom last night. Those of you who know me know that I don't really mind bugs at all. You would have laughed at me last night, because I squealed like a girl and ran around on tip toe. They were reeeeeeally big. I got over it though.

Boiled three of my batiks today. So happy with how everything is turning out. Can't wait to show them to people. It's just so satisfying. You spend days (or weeks) covering a piece of cloth with wax, until it barely looks like anything anymore. You forget what colors you put on, the design is invisible, and all you have is a big piece of wax. Then you boil it, and scrap the wax off, rinse it, and there is a piece of beautiful, colorful artwork. It's amazing. I love it. They are all really pretty. Not gonna lie, I'm a little proud. I'm going to work on two more designs tonight, since Rashida-ji said that tomorrow should be my last day for starting new designs. After that I'll spend my time just finishing up the (now 5) pieces that will be unfinished. Should work out almost perfectly.

Also, yesterday I spent 15 minutes at a post office gluing three stamps each to 19 postcards. I've been writing them over the last month, but only just got around to sending them all. The postal workers laughed at me when I brought out the stack. I apologize that I will probably be home before the postcards reach anyone, but I still love you all. Now it'll be a nice little surprise for you in mid-December!

Love to everyone!

Last night, I went to a restaurant. It was called "Anna Restaurant". I thought that was funny. It was very nice. For anyone who wants to know, dosas are wonderful. They are a south Indian fried pancake-type thing. Very yummy. The restaurant play the James Bond movie "Octopussy" every night at 7:30. This movie is mostly in India, and apparently was partially shot in Udaipur, hence several business having 'Octopussy' written across their windows. A little weird. And for any of you who go and watch the movie now, just so you can see where I am, rickshaws don't go quite that fast. They can be zippy, but I'm pretty sure one would fall apart before you could have a real chase. I only watched the beginning of the movie, but perhaps one night I'll stay for the whole thing. Kind of funny.

Meh!

Oh India...

Something I find really adorable: instead of calling the spot where your shoe rubs your foot "blisters", they call them "shoe bites". I think that's really cute.
Something I don't find adorable: The fact that my shoes have bitten my feet EVERYWHERE.

Things are going pretty well. My rickshaw wallah this morning told me that I could pay, "as I wish", which made me really happy, so I gave him a little extra. Way to go Decent People!

Yesterday we boiled my large piece...it turned out! I must say, I am rather proud of it. It still gets another coat of wax, another dying, and then boiled again, but it's almost finished, and I can see that the two weeks of hard work I put into it turned out. Feeling very good about that. Since it actually looks nice enough for me to hang in my dorm room, I figure I can explain it to people. It is a batiked, madhubani-style picture of Ophelia, from Hamlet. It's big...about 3 by 4 feet...maybe, I'm actually a horrible judge of measurements...but it's large. Ophelia is half submerged in water, with a willow tree and grasses behind her, and she's holding long purples (which look more like grapes) and daisies. she also has daisies in her hair, which is down and wild. She is smiling, but has tears. The colors are different from my original plan, since I was only able to do two color schemes. The water & sky are maroon, but it looks really good in contrast with the yellow hair and green grass. And everything has a complicated double line of white, which is cracked with lots of black. It's kind of stained-glass like, but not really. I realize this is a really confusing description, that probably gives no idea of what it looks like, but I am excited about it and wanted to try. When I can (and when it's finished) I'll put up a picture.
I've also gotten really into wall-hangings that are more like posters...with writing. It's hard, because the writing cracks and can be difficult to read, plus I feel like since I'm just writing quotes it's not exactly "art", but I don't really care. I like it. I've been putting quotes I like with simple images or designs I come up with, usually in very basic colour schemes. Good stuff. I'm having fun with it. I love the colours. So so much.

I'm probably going to leave Udaipur on the 25th, so I can be in Delhi for the Thanksgiving Dinner @ the program center. I figure it will be a good way to spend my first thanksgiving away from home, rather than in my hotel room alone, eating masala potato chips and bananas. :-) Then, I fly home on the 7th. Three weeks from today. Oh god. So excited.

Thank you to the people who responded to my last post...it was really meaningful to read your emails & messages...this experience has involved a lot of "growing up" for me, and getting such insightful responses made me feel like it has paid off. I love you guys.

Another India Fun Fact!: "Blisters" are called "shoe bites"...the little jam packets that we normally see in diners and stuff? They are called "blister pack"...and ketchup packets are called "tomato sachets". Oh India!

India: A Self-Reflective Essay

Preface: This was written partially at the request of dear Mother, who warned me that my blog may be getting too negative. This is an explanation/apology/excuse for that, lest anyone who reads this thinks that I hate it here.

As anyone who has wandered the world knows, travel is a high-stress situation. Even the most patient of travelers requires venting, and this can come out in varying degrees. When traveling with a companion, the whining may come in small doses, and appear quite moderate. However, when traveling by one's self, one is quite at loss for whom to vent to. I, being on my own, am in this situation. India, while incredible, has its faults, which I am continuously exposed to. I need to talk about them. Unfortunately, as I am by myself, this comes out online. while trying to make friends around the city, the last thing I want to do is complain about all the problems in this country. Since I have somewhat limited computer time, I realize that these complaints (which are sometimes just observations) can come in large batches, giving the impression that I can't stand it here. Apologies to everyone.
India brings out the best and the worst in people. while I doubt I have seen my worst, I have been introduced to certain traits of mine that I am not particularly fond of. While I have not necessarily overcome them or gotten rid of them, my awareness of their existence has surely moved me in a better direction. As for bringing out the best in me, I don't know about that. I do feel that I have a much higher level of self-confidence, at least when it comes to looking out for myself. I feel more aware, confident, responsible, and stronger, mentally. Most of these things have come from the more negative events that I have mentioned here. I general I don't mind the harassment of children and men in the street, and some days I actually enjoy the attitude it gives me. It feels good to be able to ignore the comments and catcalls and not be upset by them. When I get home, I will appreciate these things and the bravery they have given me. While I do recognize that, you, reader, must also recognize the difficulties of dealing with these situations every single day, without fail. There is no break from the catcalling and harassment. I know there is no real danger, and that it is not personal, and that I will be better for it. However, I would enjoy being able to walk to class one day without school children pulling on my clothing and holding my hand because I am white, and it would be nice if I could walk back without men slowing down on their motorcycles to say, "oh yes, pretty pretty, give a smile,". As good as it is for me, it is also mentally exhausting to avoid the leering stares and groping hands and concentrate on my walk home...every single day. And when I do get to the safety of my room, I have no one to laugh it off with. I do not want to tell my batik teachers because they will feel sorry for me and send their 70 year old servant woman to walk back with me to "protect" me. I don't need protection. No one will hurt me, and I can take care of myself. I need a release, and that comes out here, to my unfortunate readers.
I love it here. This is an incredible, wonderful, beautiful country. I have met some of the kindest, sweetest, most generous people I have ever known. I am daily reminded of how disgusting and evil mankind is, and reminded even more of how gentle and loving humans can be. I am soaking in the goodness, the vibrancy, the richness, the strength and the love this country is giving me. I hope it will be evident when I return, but if not, I know I will always feel it. As much as I am soaking in these positive things, I need to spit out the negativities as they come at me. I don't want to retain the skill of ignoring people and not making eye contact and having the assumption that a hello from a child will be followed by a request for money. Those things need to stay here, and if writing about it and telling people from home is the way to get those things out from inside of me, then that it what I have to do. I am sorry if it makes me seem miserable. Know that when I get back, the majority of what I will say will be the positive, amazing things that I have seen and experienced. Those are what I will keep inside.
I would also say that I am not homesick. I have been talking about home a lot, and it is true that in my copious amounts of free time/thinking time, my mind is continuously wandering to home, school, and camp. I miss them all incredibly, and am very much looking forward to returning, but I would not say I'm homesick. I think I am, perhaps overly, excited and eager to see what changes and outlooks this amazing new adventure will bring to my (already pretty spectacular) old life.

Cheers.

Life in Udaipur

Soooooooooo...I'm bored. Really bored. Batik is great though. very relaxing, and beautiful stuff. I'm working on a really big project right now, that I won't go into detail on. I don't want to talk about it too much, because it might not turn out so well. I'll find out in a few days though, when we boil all the wax off! THEN I'll talk about it.

I hurt my leg. I don't know how, but I seem to have pulled a muscle or something in my left calf. So now I get to hobble up and down the hills of Udaipur, or spend money on a rickshaw. I tend to hobble, because I get too angry at the rickshaws for overcharging me because I'm white. I also got some really nasty blisters, so the limp is added to. I'm lame. Literally. Hopefully it'll feel better soon.

Udaipur is really pretty. Very touristy, and full of European hippies. I pass at least one, usually two elephants on my way to the studio every day. I would take a picture of them, but if I ever stop to look for even a second the owner will try to get me to ride it and charge me a lot to take a picture. Stupid white skin of mine. I also see camels fairly regularly. They're the best. So sassy.

While the amount of time spent in my hotel room is generally quite frustrating, I've also have some fun moments. Awhile ago I had this wonderful, "I'm an artist" feeling. I've bought some cheap speakers for my iPod, so one evening I got back, put on some music, spread out my paper on the floor, and spent a good 3 hours sketching out a design for my big batik. Felt really good, in a goofy sort of way. Now I just need to get stuff like that for every night of the week...

Things to do when I get home:
~Take a long, hot, shower. Or a bath. The bucket showers are ok, and the cold water was nice when it was scorching out, but now it's time for some warm water.
~Eat food with NO spice. seriously. Indian food is great, spices are great. I reeeeeeeally just want some plain, bland food now. Please. Just a little something that will not make my taste buds go crazy. I had a piece of pizza last night, and even it had spices on it.
~Make eye contact with every person I see, and not worry that they will take it as a sexual advance.
~snuggle with sam. a lot. and mommy. and daddy. and jack, if he let's me. and LUCY.
~sleep on a pillow that does not feel like it's full of sawdust.
~Dance around the house and sing at the top of my lungs. Sorry Sam.
~Drink a lot of water from the tap, and eat a whole bucket of ice cubes. WithOUT getting dysentery. I miss ice.

Um...it's going to be cold when I get home. I was skyping with dear Michael Hull yesterday, and I was reminded that the weather here is not the weather everywhere else. So, for those of you who are curious, here is the regular forecast. Generally everyday is roughly 80 degrees Fahrenheit. I don't have an actual thermometer, so that's just a guess. But it is around that. Hasn't rained since September. Evenings get a little chilly, though that probably only means around 60. During the day the sun is strong and hot and killer. I sweat a lot.

So that's life in Udaipur. I've been here a week now, and will be home (HOME home) in approximately 4 weeks. So excited. Missing Delhi too. Love to all.

Classes!

Yay! I got all the classes I wanted...this would be the first time that has happened, so I'm pretty happy. For those of you at 'berg, and who care, here is what I have:

Acting Classical Verse (YES!) TR 11:30-12:20
Stage Combat, Rapier & Dagger S 12:00-3:00
Philosophy East & West TR 2:00-3:15
Shakespeare II MW 3:00-4:15
Medieval Literature MW 12:30-1:45

I'm pretty psyched, even though I think it's going to be a ridiculous amount of work. An acting class, a writing intensive, weekend stuff, and probably a lot of reading. But it's all mostly theater/stuff I'm really interested in, so it should be ok. Plus I've spent the entire last semester theater-free, so it's really time to get some of that. Can't wait.

Do let me know if we match up with anything.

Yeah, I suck at posting. Whatever. I'm in a internet place and was about to register for classes when I discovered that daylight savings time has occured in the US, and I actually have an hour to kill here before I can register. Not too pleased about that, since it means walking home after dark tonight, which will be less than pleasant. Oh well, if it means I get a blog entry in, I guess that's all that matters!

So, it's been awhile. Finished up in Delhi about a week ago, where finals went reasonably well, although I have no idea how I actually did on them. Spent a day or two hanging out with people and packing, then left early Sunday to catch my train. Spent all day riding the rails, although I had a three hour break in Ajmer where I sat in the ladies waiting room and had awkward conversations with many Indian women, who took pity on the awkward and uncomfortable looking american who sat across from them. Then I went out to catch my next train, only to discover that, though three people had told me I was at the right platform, it was actually three platforms over. Seeing as how I had two minutes till it pulled out, I ran up the steps, over the crosswalk, and back down, ran to my car, and jumped in the door as it started moving. All with an enormas backpack and a small duffle. I think I had a small heart attack, and it took me a good while to catch my breath.
Arrived in Udaipur late, and got settled into my hotel. The people are very nice, and told me that it was my family, not a hotel. My batik lessons are from 11-4, with an hour break for lunch. I'm on my own for lunch. I have to say that while I enjoy batiking immensly, I'm not sure how this is going to work out. I have far too much alone time, and apparently I hate doing anything on my own. Not because I can't, but I just have no desire to go out and eat by myself, or walk around town, or site see, or anything by myself. It's just not that fun. I walk to and from batik, which takes about half an hour each way, so that takes up some of my time. If I stop at an internet place it kills some of it, but I still usually need to be back to my hotel by 6, when it gets dark. From then on it's just me, drawing and reading and day dreaming.
Thankfully last night I got in touch with a couple of American girls that Dheeraj-ji told me about, and we had dinner and hung out. It was a wonderful relief. They are both leaving for Delhi today though, so it doesn't do me too much good for the future. One comes back in a week, so hopefully after that I'll have someone to hang out with. I just need to get in the mode of meeting people, but I'm a little shy for that. It'll work out eventually I suppose.
So that's what I'm up to at the moment. Udaipur is lovely, though, as I said above, would be lovelier if I had someone to share it with. Everyday I walk past dozens and dozens of shops and stall selling beautiful clothes and scarves and jewelry and all things wonderful, although I can't even glance at the thing hanging up without the owners (who all seem to be 20 year old boys) running out and saying "Hello Pretty, want to look? Just step in, look look, no buy". I have gotton really good at flat out ignoring people's existence, which hopefully will not carry over when I get back to the states.

random note--the owner of this internet place looks somewhat like Hank Azaria. It makes me really happy. Along similar lines, I love seeing people here that look exactly like people from home, except that their Indian. Nick Flatto, I saw a boy here that looked so much like you, I did a double take. Except that he was Indian. Weird. Happens a lot actually.

Only about four weeks till home. So excited. Love to you all, and apologies for taking so ridiculously long to get out this post.